Not every day can be Valentine’s but when you are a new mum it’s sometimes hard to feel that there is any romance left between you and your partner
Do not neglect this oh so important relationship. He may not have the cash to buy you flowers and
chocolate once a week like he used to (really, did he? where did you find yours????) and you may not be able to buy in his favourite beer for him or get him the latest cds or a season ticket to keep him out of your hair at a weekend. This does not mean romance should die. Men can feel pushed out of the very intimate mummy-baby bond in the first few months. They are used to having you to themselves. However lots of love can be given for free.Here are some ideas for relationship lifters that only cost effort.
Massages – just a little massage whether it is neck and shoulders or a full back and legs after a lovely soak in the bath can make your partner feel wonderful. Use your baby oil or basic moisturisers and see them relax. They may then return the favour. A few candles dotted around the room would be a lovely treat too and may just get you both in the mood for a bit of a cuddle.
Baths – It is so nice to be spontaneously run a bath with the very best bubble bath you have, with low lighting, candles and a glass of wine or cold beer. Pj’s put on the radiator and maybe their very favourite music turned on low. Go on, spoil them. It’ll take you all of 10 minutes but will feel like real luxury to the receiver.
Special meals – after baby is down for the night a lovely meal for 2 can sound like a massive effort. But what makes a meal special is not the effort poured into making something complicated and expensive. It is as simple as ABC
A – Actually going out and getting your partner’s very favourite thing
B – Beautiful presentation – perhaps a flower in a milk bottle and the best plates and cutlery and a little candle
C- Clearly having made an effort – a bit of make up and a pretty dress maybe
your partner will be delighted and it need only be a simple meal. If I make fajitas he even washes up!
A game of chess – its very easy to zone in front of the TV when you have both had a tiring day but if you make the effort to do something different it can be just as relaxing and much more bonding. Do something just the two of you together, such as have a game of chess, do a crossword, plan your holiday.
Cuddles and Holding Hands – these don’t require you to feel sexy, shave your legs and put on great underwear but they are gentle important reminders to the one you love that you still adore them in these early days and that your romance is still alive. Don’t forget it can mean the world. Make these a daily habit – you cuddle your baby every day don’t you? Your partner needs to know they are at least as important as your baby.
Love notes – A little love note in a lunch box or a briefcase, left on a desk or in the fridge, can be a sweet little reminder that you really do care. People need to be shown this and you need to spell it out. It can be lonely days for our partners when we are devoted to our new babies. It takes just seconds to write a love note but the thought of it affects the receiver all day. Get writing!
Appreciation – Remember to appreciate the support and love you receive and to say thank you and spell out what for. It is easy to be so wrapped up in being a parent and our baby’s needs that we forget to look outwards and others can end up feeling taken for granted. Saying thank you can make all the difference.
Time off – Every mummy or daddy needs time off to just be by themselves and it is important that whilst demanding your space as a mummy you don’t forget about theirs. Sometimes men work hard all week and the second they come home they are handed the baby and told it’s their turn. Then at weekends expectations for family time and helping out can be all consuming. We all need a break. In my house on a Saturday morning I get a lie in, breakfast in bed and at least the whole morning to do as I want. On a Sunday my hubby gets exactly the same. It works for us. Find something that works for you and gives you both some time. It will keep you sane!
Other posts I have written about Valentines
Simple thrifty makes for Valentines